Dating in China

This week I went to my first Chinese wedding.  Before I write about the wedding I'm going to write a bit about dating and marriage in China.  It is something that probably fascinates me the most right now because it is vastly different than our Western way of dating and getting married.

The actual act of dating is similar.  They have blind dates, they meet people online, they even have a day dedicated to singles (See picture above.  Singles day is always on 11/11).

The part that's different is what they're looking for in their future spouse.  One of my Chinese friends summed it up: 'In other countries love is enough.  In China love is not enough'.  So what is important?  A good job and money. My friend is actually in love with her boyfriend.  I've found this to be rare. I don't usually see the love in someone's eyes when they talk about their boyfriend or husband.  But with her I see it.  The problem is her parents don't like him because he doesn't make enough money.  She says they will never get married because he will probably never make enough money.  In fact her parents don't know she is still with her boyfriend. 

I don't talk to many guys but during one of my classes with my private student who is 24, we got into a nice discussion about what he was looking for.    He said he wants 'real, tender, romantic love'.  So, he doesn't mind waiting till he's 30 to get married.   It was sweet.  I don't hear many girls talk like that.  They are so desperate to get married by the time their 25.  God forbid they don't find anyone by 28.   It's hard for some to believe I'm 31 and don't even have a boyfriend.  I guess I don't have to say I feel old here. 

My first Chinese Thanksgiving

This is Thanksgiving last year.  Looks like a mix of emotions at the table.

It was a bit strange to spend Thanksgiving in China.  They don't really have anything like it except for Chinese New Years which seems to encompass all of our Western holidays.  I don't think they quite get the concept of Thanksgiving.  Our Chinese teachers told the students to write something on a post it and stick it on the wall by the elevators.  They didn't tell them to write what they are thankful for but rather to write a note to someone they're thankful for.

It made me realize that we really don't do that on Thanksgiving.  We say what we're thankful for but we don't necessarily thank people. Maybe thanking people is something we should start.

I am thankful for so many things this Thanksgiving. Last Thanksgiving I never could have imagined I would be in China this year.  I'm very grateful that I never know where my life is taking me.  I've had experiences not many people get to have.  I'm thankful for all the people I've met from all over the world - China, the Philippines, England, Australia, Ireland, South Africa, and the United States. I've learned and gotten a different perspectives of the world from all of them. 

I am incredibly thankful for my supportive friends and family.  I've said it before but I never could have done this without them.    I miss them more than they know.  I am also thankful for all the care packages and emails.   Life savers!

On Thanksgiving I canceled my classes and decided to treat it like a real Thanksgiving -trying not to do much.  First, I went to KTV (karaoke) with some of the Chinese teachers from school - ok so that's not like a real Thanksgiving but somehow in China it seems appropriate.  After that we had a Thanksgiving dinner at an Italian restaurant owned by a Japanese man.  It was actually really good.  The only trace of China in the meal was dessert.  It was a fruit pizza. Yep crust, apples, and cheese.  It was good but a very disappointing Thanksgiving dessert.  Luckily I know a place that has pumpkin pie so I think I will stop by for a slice this week. 

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving!

Thanks Mom!

When my mom sent me medicine she put a bunch of fun things in the box that I would never think of asking for.  A huge bag of styrofoam letters kept my students busy for nearly an hour on Friday.  I had them make food words.  I really like brainstorming because I'm always surprised by their vocabulary.  Rachel spelled sashimi, sushi, chicken curry, naan bread, and cabbage.  The Chinese teacher didn't even know a couple of the words.

Getting sick in China

2 weeks ago I made my first trip to a Chinese hospital.   I knew this day would be inevitable but I had still been dreading it.   In China when you need to see a doctor you go straight to the hospital and not to a doctor's office.  One of the staff members from work took me.

First you fill out a little booklet with your name and age, and pay $.35 for the initial meeting with the doctor.

The doctor is in an office at a desk waiting for people to stop by with problems or test results.  When she's not seeing patients she's reading a newspaper.
She said I needed a blood test and a chest x-ray.  First we had to pre-pay for the tests.  It was $2.50 for the blood test and $4.50 for the x-ray.   We went and got both tests done, waited for blood test results and the x-ray, and brought them back to her for a diagnosis.  From the blood test she could tell I had an infection.  She kind of winced when she looked at my x-ray but said my lungs were ok.  (I got to keep my x-ray.)

My throat was red and inflamed.  I was told to rest, not to drink alcohol, not to eat spicy foods, and of course to drink ONLY hot water.  They gave me 6 pills - 2 a day - to get rid of the infection.  If the pills didn't take care of it then an injection / drip was next.   She wrote everything in my little booklet:

The hospital was not bad at all.  There was someone smoking in the hall (typical Chinese) while we were waiting to get my X-ray so I was coughing a lot.  But there weren't any patients around with blood oozing or people dying in the hallway.  Overall it seemed as clean as I would expect in a Chinese hospital. 

Unfortunately the medicine didn't work and I still missed an entire weekend of work.  I decided to self diagnose and I think I have bronchitis.  Now I feel a bit better, my chest doesn't hurt, I can breath, and I'm able to sleep for the entire night.  My mom sent me some good old western drugs and I hope they are slowly getting rid of my cough. 

I didn't notice this girl when I was taking the pictures of the hospital.  From looking at her you would think it was a really cold day but it was 50 degrees. 

Burning money for the dead

Often the Chinese burn fake money for their deceased. Apparently it is done a few times a year because this is the 2nd time I've seen them do it in the past 8 months.  The first time was for Tomb Sweeping Day when they clean up the tombs of their deceased and burn fake money.  Burning fake money is done so their relatives will have money in the afterlife.

My roommate saw a vendor selling fake US dollars.  He asked what it was for and she responded that it was for the overseas Chinese.  Apparently the Chinese who have passed away in the US can't spend the RMB that's burned for them in China - they need US dollars to spend in the after life.