Troublesome, taxing tones

This learning Mandarin thing is really tough!  It's not that I can't memorize the words or the sentence structure - if that's all I had to do I'd have so much confidence and fluency. 

It's these darn tones.  When I started memorizing words I did pay attention to the tones but the poor little markings were quickly forgotten because I just wanted to grasp onto the word.  Now I'm realizing that's not enough.  Sometimes when I say a word to a Chinese person it takes them a minute to process it and then they say it again with the correct tone.  It kind of makes me want to scream sometimes.  Most of the time they're not being stubborn - they really have no idea what I'm saying with the wrong tone. 

Sometimes words with different tones are similar.  For instance mai.  mǎi means to buy something.  mài means to sell something.  If you put them together it means business.

But most of the time I feel like they're completely different words.
Here are 4 examples of the different meanings of shi:
1st tone = poem
2nd tone = 10
3rd tone = history
4th tone = forms of to be
 
I'm going to quote a blog that quoted another blog on learning tones so you get an idea of what the tones are supposed to sound like:

Once you learn how to say each tone, then associate some emotion with each one. For example, here’s my own personification and characteristics for each tone:

1. 1st tone = transcendent, helpful, simplicity.
   I love words that have the first tone because of their simplicity and how easy they are to sing out and pronounce correctly.
2. 2nd tone = insecure, unsure, questioning.
   I sympathize with words that have the second tone because I’ve been unsure and insecure myself. I don’t blame them for sounding like questions.
3. 3rd tone = mischievous, mean-spirited, illusive, like a bird you’re trying to watch but he dives into the water and pops up where you aren’t looking.
   I hate words with the third tone. They take more work and more time to pronounce. They change depending on the words near them. They seem to exist only to make my life more difficult.
4. 4th tone = angry, demanding, impatient.
   I also like words that have the fourth tone because I can shout them out. These words give me a chance to vent. Usually, as a default, if I don’t know the tone of a word, I’ve found I’ll say it as a fourth tone involuntarily.

My problem with tones is most apparent with my private student who actually told me my Chinese is bad.  That was a blow to my Chinese ego.  In my defense his English is far from perfect and he doesn't quite know how to express himself in English.   I speak an ok amount of Chinese with him but he has a hard time understanding me.  I know now my tones are everything.  Back to the beginning.

Tones aside - but still high on my never ending list of Chinese to study - I am making progress.  It's most apparent when I see my students every week or the cleaning woman that comes to my apartment every other week. I understand more of what my students are saying and I speak a bit more with my cleaning woman.  I get frustrated when I feel like I should know it all or I meet a situation where I miserably fail at my attempts to speak.  I need to focus on the fact that I am making progress every day.  Progress a little bit at a time is like watching water boil (especially in a Chinese kitchen.  AT LEAST 30 minutes!).  Eventually the water always boils and progress has been made.