I originally posted this on March 21st, 2011. I hadn't even been
teaching for a month and I thought it would never get easier. I like
looking back to see how far I've come. Now I can think on my feet,
understand my students when they speak Chinese, control them
(sometimes), and most importantly I have a lot more confidence. The
beginning was rough.....
I'm struggling a bit with this teaching thing. I thought every weekend would get better but as I found out yesterday that's not the case. I felt like Sunday was my worst day so far. It didn't help that I was being assessed in 2 of my classes. I know I'm doing something totally new that I've never done before in a completely new country where they speak a completely different language. I'm out of sorts in almost every possible way. Still, I don't like the feeling of not knowing how to do something.
A few things that frustrated me this weekend:
-Kids were just bad. I think maybe it had to do with the rain. (ha! I blamed kids behavior on the rain!)
-No one understood me. Obviously this happens a lot in class but this weekend I never seemed to be able to get my point across no matter how much I mimed or drew on the board. I got sooo many blank stares.
-I still can't remember student's names. I'm even struggling remembering faces. I don't recognize my kids in the hall before class.
-In one of my 2 hour classes I did my entire lesson plan in the first hour. On break I asked other teachers what else they do in this class so I was able to gracefully recover but geez. I spent time preparing! I guess I'm still getting used to how I actually need to prepare.
-I had to jump around like a rabbit with 5 year olds - while their parents were watching and I was being assessed.
-I had a class of 4/5 year olds that collectively went insane. The parents did nothing. It was like as a group they all linked together and decided how they could be as bad as possible. It was a ball of screaming, bad 5 year old Chinese kids. They were literally all on the floor fighting for toys. So much for the fun games I planned.
After a weekend like this it's hard not to want to throw in the towel. I have to remind myself why I came here. Teaching was a big reason. Sometimes I wonder if that's actually what I'm doing though. I teach about 300 students in one weekend and I feel like I don't get to know them. Are these kids learning anything??
There's a girl in one of my classes that keeps asking for my phone number. I always forget to bring my phone with me to class and I don't know my number. She put this in her notebook for me to see when I graded her homework.
I'm struggling a bit with this teaching thing. I thought every weekend would get better but as I found out yesterday that's not the case. I felt like Sunday was my worst day so far. It didn't help that I was being assessed in 2 of my classes. I know I'm doing something totally new that I've never done before in a completely new country where they speak a completely different language. I'm out of sorts in almost every possible way. Still, I don't like the feeling of not knowing how to do something.
A few things that frustrated me this weekend:
-Kids were just bad. I think maybe it had to do with the rain. (ha! I blamed kids behavior on the rain!)
-No one understood me. Obviously this happens a lot in class but this weekend I never seemed to be able to get my point across no matter how much I mimed or drew on the board. I got sooo many blank stares.
-I still can't remember student's names. I'm even struggling remembering faces. I don't recognize my kids in the hall before class.
-In one of my 2 hour classes I did my entire lesson plan in the first hour. On break I asked other teachers what else they do in this class so I was able to gracefully recover but geez. I spent time preparing! I guess I'm still getting used to how I actually need to prepare.
-I had to jump around like a rabbit with 5 year olds - while their parents were watching and I was being assessed.
-I had a class of 4/5 year olds that collectively went insane. The parents did nothing. It was like as a group they all linked together and decided how they could be as bad as possible. It was a ball of screaming, bad 5 year old Chinese kids. They were literally all on the floor fighting for toys. So much for the fun games I planned.
After a weekend like this it's hard not to want to throw in the towel. I have to remind myself why I came here. Teaching was a big reason. Sometimes I wonder if that's actually what I'm doing though. I teach about 300 students in one weekend and I feel like I don't get to know them. Are these kids learning anything??
There's a girl in one of my classes that keeps asking for my phone number. I always forget to bring my phone with me to class and I don't know my number. She put this in her notebook for me to see when I graded her homework.
She
asked me when she should call. Is she really going to call?! I mean her
English is ok but what could we possibly talk about on the phone?
ANYWAY - I need to walk away with something positive from a weekend
filled with lots of frustrations so I think this is pretty good.
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