Apartment Problems

I am tired of my apartment.  It's brand new and has so many problems.

Problem #1

The most annoying problem right now is that the apartment upstairs leaks into the apartment downstairs.  How is that possible?  Sometimes I get some of the water dripping into my kitchen but not always.  To make the situation more annoying the people downstairs won't talk to the people upstairs.  So every time it leaks I get the Chinese man (from downstairs) pounding on my door with a lit cigarette wanting me to call my landlord to talk to the people upstairs.
My last apartment was leaking into the apartment below.  So, this is a very common problem.  I know by now not to ask why in China.

Problem #2

The smell!  Every apartment / bathroom smells in China.  They have not figured out how to make the proper S pipe so that the sewer smell doesn't come back up.  It's gross.  But my apartment has extra smells that I haven't been able to figure out.  I think the other smells come in the window, mostly when it's open, but sometimes when it's closed.

Problem #3

The amount of dirt that accumulates even with the windows shut.  In order to keep up with it I would need to clean every other day.  It has probably been a month or so since I dusted my bookshelf and this is what I found when I moved the books.

Problem #4

The vent and light above the stove top only worked for 5 months.  This is actually the least of my worries but it just shows how cheaply made everything is in China.

Problem #5

The washer.  I HATE doing laundry.  The washer I have isn't quite manual but nearly.  You have to turn on and off the water.  At first I didn't realize this and had quite a mess on my hands.  After the clothes wash in the left side you have to drain the water and then put the clothes in the right side to spin.  Sometimes the washer goes crazy and jumps itself all the way around.  Now the tube to the water tap is broken and I have to hold the tube while filling up the washer. It still leaks all over the place and it's pretty boring standing there for 5 minutes while the washer fills up.

 

 

 

Problem #6

The walls are thin and you hear everything.  Even what people do in the bathroom.

Problem #7

This isn't actually a problem but it is pretty funny.  There was no room in the kitchen so the refrigerator is in the 2nd bedroom.  Good thing I didn't want a roommate.

 

Problem #8

I'm not sure what exactly this problem is but remember my mop??


Most of these are very small annoyances and hardly important.  My landlord is the kindest Chinese man I have met here.  He's so patient with my Chinese.   He has allowed me to rent an actually great apartment for an incredibly cheap price.  He didn't ask for a security deposit.  I broke my lease with no problems. He said I don't even have to clean when I move out.  So when I think about it like that I am forever grateful for this apartment - the smells, the mushroom, the washer, and all.

Teaching got easier!

I originally posted this on March 21st, 2011. I hadn't even been teaching for a month and I thought it would never get easier. I like looking back to see how far I've come.  Now I can think on my feet, understand my students when they speak Chinese, control them (sometimes), and most importantly I have a lot more confidence. The beginning was rough.....

I'm struggling a bit with this teaching thing. I thought every weekend would get better but as I found out yesterday that's not the case. I felt like Sunday was my worst day so far. It didn't help that I was being assessed in 2 of my classes. I know I'm doing something totally new that I've never done before in a completely new country where they speak a completely different language. I'm out of sorts in almost every possible way. Still, I don't like the feeling of not knowing how to do something.
A few things that frustrated me this weekend:

-Kids were just bad. I think maybe it had to do with the rain. (ha! I blamed kids behavior on the rain!)

-No one understood me. Obviously this happens a lot in class but this weekend I never seemed to be able to get my point across no matter how much I mimed or drew on the board. I got sooo many blank stares.

-I still can't remember student's names. I'm even struggling remembering faces. I don't recognize my kids in the hall before class.

-In one of my 2 hour classes I did my entire lesson plan in the first hour. On break I asked other teachers what else they do in this class so I was able to gracefully recover but geez. I spent time preparing! I guess I'm still getting used to how I actually need to prepare.

-I had to jump around like a rabbit with 5 year olds - while their parents were watching and I was being assessed.

-I had a class of 4/5 year olds that collectively went insane. The parents did nothing. It was like as a group they all linked together and decided how they could be as bad as possible. It was a ball of screaming, bad 5 year old Chinese kids. They were literally all on the floor fighting for toys. So much for the fun games I planned.

After a weekend like this it's hard not to want to throw in the towel. I have to remind myself why I came here. Teaching was a big reason. Sometimes I wonder if that's actually what I'm doing though. I teach about 300 students in one weekend and I feel like I don't get to know them.  Are these kids learning anything??

There's a girl in one of my classes that keeps asking for my phone number. I always forget to bring my phone with me to class and I don't know my number. She put this in her notebook for me to see when I graded her homework.

She asked me when she should call. Is she really going to call?! I mean her English is ok but what could we possibly talk about on the phone? ANYWAY - I need to walk away with something positive from a weekend filled with lots of frustrations so I think this is pretty good.

Update

Can't wait to see Linda in Thailand!

My time in Xi'an is quickly coming to an end.  I have three more weekends of teaching and then I will be on a plane to Thailand.  I'll be in Thailand for about 10 days with Linda - my Australian friend who I met in Xi'an.  I'll also be visiting my English friend who I met in Cambodia and traveled around Hong Kong with.   They both have birthdays during those 10 days so it should be fun!   I'm also hoping for some relaxing time on the beach, catching up with Linda (she's been in India for 6 weeks), reading lots of books, yoga, full moon party, good food, and some distance from China.

On November 1st I'll fly out of Bangkok and be home in time for my dad's concert on November 2nd.  I'll be back in Chicago for a couple months before leaving again for a yet to be determined destination.

It's hard to believe it's nearly time to go home.  I can't believe I've been gone for almost 2 years!

Anti-Japanese Riots in Xi’an, China

I do my best to be on the side of the Chinese. They have surrounded me for 18 months and I am living in their country. Through the ups and downs I always try to see things from their point of view and even if I can't understand why they do some things at least I try to withhold judgments.

The Japanese and Chinese have been fighting over Japanese controlled islands for years.  I don't think the details of this argument are very important. Since I arrived in China I've been aware of the Chinese hate for the Japanese. My first clue was when my 7-year-old student was playing with the globe of the world ball and gave Japan the finger. Students have made quite a few anti-Japan comments in class. But they're kids, they don't know any better.

A couple weeks ago the adult population took it to another level. They are a selfish group of people. This is something I know and I accept. If I lived in a world with an intense level of competition and a huge population (not to mention a world of only children) I might be the same way.  Recently their selfish side came out in an ugly way. They destroyed other's property. They attacked cars and restaurants that were Japanese. Does hurting their own people because they need to work and drive a car seem rational?

Even protests are good money making opportunities.

As a foreigner walking around during this time I don't feel especially comfortable.  Why would they do anything to me? But why are they doing this in the first place. They're acting in an irrational and ignorant manner. 

Chinese flags were carried by adults, carried by children, flown on the outside of huge shopping malls, small shops, and on cars and motorbikes. I wish I had gotten a sense of community from all of this. Instead it felt like a carnival.  Funny enough their word for demonstration (游行) is also the same word for parade. Instead of trying to avoid the violence by staying home they were out in huge numbers eating ice cream and taking pictures.

I'm not taking sides in this fight.  The Japanese were awful to the Chinese years ago.  I just don't agree with how the Chinese have acted. 

In the days following this day the Chinese were once again forbidden to protest.  During class the next day we watched one of the busiest streets in Xi'an become closed off to cars and pedestrians.  The gates were completely closed to anyone trying to enter the city. No one was allowed to protest.

I've had many days in China when I've questioned why I am here.  This day was a big one.  I was reminded how selfish and ignorant Chinese people can be.  However, I don't believe this is a big enough reason to abandon a country I've grown to love, hate, and be fascinated with all in the same moment. 

Eating out in China

Eating out in China is nothing like eating out in America and other Western countries.  I didn't realize how used to it I am until I taught a class about eating out.

We taught them words and sentences that had to do with eating out in a Western country.  We acted out going to a restaurant and the kids could not do it in a polite way.  They are Chinese and there is no changing them.  It really made me laugh because they were saying, in English, what they usually say in Chinese.  If they were to say these same things in America they would be considered very rude.

There are a few different kinds of restaurants in China but the majority are smaller and family owned.  There are only a few people that work there and they could all be 'waiters'.  When you enter a restaurant the 'waitress' might look around and point at a table where you should sit - there might even be other people at that table.

The waitress / waiter is called a 服务员(fu wu yuan).  It usually sounds like 'FUYUAN!'  But if it is the owner or boss you call them 老板 (laoban) which translates to boss. 

After you sit the 服务员 will show you the menu or if the menu is on the wall they'll ask what you want from that menu. They don't give you a minute with the menu, they stand there until you tell them what you want or give you paper so you can write it yourself.  If you need a minute they'll walk away but they won't come back until you yell 'fuyuan!'.  Imagine sitting in a restaurant where everyone yelled 'waitress!' every time they need something.  It doesn't matter if they can see the 服务员, it's shouted until someone comes to see what they need.  Or worse, if you know it's the boss that is working you yell 'boss!'.

They don't ask you if you want something to drink or if you'd like anything else.  If they walk away and you forgot to order the beer then you need to shout 'FUYUAN!'.

Usually these small restaurants specialize in one type of food so you rarely have to wait very long.  There are no napkins.  You must bring your own tissues.  Your food comes, you eat, you pay, you leave.  No one will come back and ask how your food is.  No one will notice that you're finished eating and ask if you want the check.  You yell 'Waitress!  Check!'  Everything needs to be asked for. It's easy to eat a meal for a little more than $1.  There are many people eating alone so if you have to eat with other people it's not a big deal.

I've seen some funny things in these restaurants.  I think the most unusual is the guy who brought his electric shaver.  He just started shaving while he was waiting for his food.  Did he have it with him just for that reason?  Who knows why most Chinese people do what they do.

Back to my students.  They tried to do their dialogue with their newly learned Western vocabulary and sentences but their dialogues sounded something like this:

Waiter:  Welcome to my restaurant.  Sit there.
Customer:  Give me a menu!
Waiter:  Here you are. (walks away)
Customer:  Waiter!!
Waiter:  What do you want to eat?
Customer:  Give me pizza and hotdogs!
Waiter leaves and brings back the food.
Waiter:  Here you are.
Customer eats.
Customer:  Waiter!!!!  Check!
Waiter:  Give me 500yuan!

It all sounds very demanding and they had a great time pretending to do all of this in English.  There was just no taking them out of China. They will never understand the differences unless they go abroad.

For me, I'm still not used to shouting waitress from across the restaurant.  I wait till I see someone, wave, and say hello.  But, I think I'm going to be bothered eating in restaurants back home.  I'll probably roll my eyes every time they ask me if I'm ok.   It's nice to be left alone unless I ask for something.   Eating out is a bit more relaxing here and it doesn't matter how loud or messy you are while you're eating. Everyone is and it's expected.  Just make sure to bring tissues!

Since tipping is taken out of the equation they obviously don't care much about the service.  I enjoy that they're not trying to please me so I give them a bigger tip. 

Eating out in China is one of my favorite things to do.

Happy 30th Birthday Julie!!!

Today is my little sister's birthday!  It's still sometimes hard to imagine my 'little' sister as a grown woman - actually not that much younger than me.  She was with me on my 30th birthday and I really wish I could be with her today.

Growing up we weren't the best of friends.  I always loved to push her around - sometimes literally give her a push - and tell her what to do.  The past couple years have brought us closer and I've realized she's one of the best people I know.  A lot has happened in her life since I've been away.  The most recent being she's now engaged - to a guy she met while I've been in China.   I'm so happy for her.  I can't wait to get home, meet him, and plan a wedding! 

Love you Julie!  Hope you have a fantastic birthday!

Xi'an by bus

I ride an average of 2-4 buses per day.  They can be horrendous because of how many people cram themselves on.  However, one of the biggest benefits of learning Chinese is that I can read the bus stops.  It's opened up air conditioned buses, less crowded buses, and gotten me much closer to my destinations.  If the arriving bus looks really crowded I wait for the next one.  Sometimes that helps and sometimes it doesn't.  I quite enjoy riding the bus if it's not crowded.  I like to look out the window and I find it relaxing if I have a seat. 

Here are a few short stories of my bus adventures over the past 18 months. 

-I'll start with the most recent story:  I was holding on to the bar above me and someone's hand was touching mine, so I moved it.  Then someone's hand was ON mine.  So I moved it again to the side bar.  Again, someone's hand touching mine. This happened a couple times.  Finally I moved it to the bar in front of me and held my breath until I could get off at the next stop. I felt so gross.  I should have turned around and told him / her not to touch me but I just wanted to be off the bus.  A similar situation happened a couple months ago.  Could this be a way guys pick up girls in China?  I think I should do some investigating.

-I was peed on.  Twice in one week I saw kids go to the bathroom on the bus.  (If you don't understand how this is possible read here.) The first time a baby went all over the mother and the mother's seat.  It didn't seem to faze her but looked really gross to me.  The second time I started to feel something wet on my foot.  I looked to see where it was coming from and a small girl was peeing on the little platform right above me and it was dripping down onto my foot.  Gross! I watched everyone walk in it and track it around the bus.

-I got on the bus and this guy said 'nice to meet you' and asked where I was from.   He started to get really close to me and whisper in my ear.  Then he was touching me more and telling me I was beautiful.  Sometimes he was speaking in English and sometimes in Chinese.  He was creepy and I got off as soon as I could.

-There was a guy sitting behind me talking very loudly on the phone, putting his arm on my chair so he was touching me (not wanting to purposely touch me), spitting, and smoking.  It's common for people to talk loudly on the phone.  Personal space is always invaded on the bus.  It's not very common for people to spit on the bus.  I've almost never seen anyone smoke on a bus.  When we were getting close to the final bus stop he pushed ahead of everyone to get off first.  Chinese people can very often seem rude but this guy clearly felt above everyone else.  I was completely annoyed.  Karma was with him on that day however.   The doors opened, he was first off the bus, and he stepped in puke with his brand new white shoes.  Hurray!

Fieldtrip to the fire station!

Recently we took our 小朋友 (this literally translates to 'little friends' but it's used to mean students) to the fire station.  I wasn't sure what to expect but it was nicely organized, the fire station was clean, the firemen enjoyed their little visitors, and the kids mostly enjoyed it too. 

We had to walk them from school to the fire station. It was about a 20 minute walk, crossing a few busy intersections. They held hands with their partner of the opposite sex, followed the flag, and we made it without even one kid or teacher being hit by a car or motorbike.

The firemen and fire engines were waiting outside for us when we arrived.  First we watched them put on their uniforms.

Then the kids put on the uniforms.

After that there was a tour of all the fire engines.

The highlight seemed to be in the bedroom.  The kids loved to watch the fireman make and unmake his bed.

Finally, we taught the kids English words about the fire station.  We played a couple games and then had a short fire safety lesson from the firemen.

It was a fun day.  I might have liked it more than the kids.  I asked them on the way back if they liked it and most said no.  Liars!  I know they had fun. 

Letting things happen.....

Losing simple things I normally take for granted has made the past couple weeks a challenge. After having a hot workout I couldn't wait to jump in the cold shower. However, while working out the water had been shut off.   The water didn't come back on till the end of the day when I could finally have a shower, make food, flush the toilet, boil drinking water, etc.   I'd be living for the next couple days with the water going on and off.   A few days after the first time the water went out I came home to no electricity.  All I wanted to do was lie in bed in front of my fan, watch tv, drink coffee, do things on the internet, etc (all things that need electricity).  It is anywhere from 93-100 degrees these days and I live on the 21st floor.  I don't have AC and I need my fan to be comfortable.  I arrived home and realized I couldn't do anything I planned to do.  Gratefully, I took a cold shower.  But it was too hot to go outside so as I laid in bed with a wet towel I thought about what I learned this week.

Life doesn't go as planned.  Being able to adapt and go with the flow is hugely important and something China reminds me on a daily basis.  This is true for anyone's life and it is a reminder we don't have much control, if any, of our life.  Let things happen.  If something doesn't go your way or you are forced to change your plans, embrace it.  Too often we don't see the good in these situations.  Having no electricity on an incredibly hot day when all I wanted to do was lay in front of the fan and watch TV gave me time to think and write by candle light instead of doing mindless things.  I was able to take a break from the internet.  It was a reminder to live mindfully and appreciate where I am at this very moment.

Amazing kids!

Recently we held the final round of our speaking competition.  I judged the first round with 2 Chinese managers from our school.  The judges for the final round were me, Linda (the other foreign teacher), and Gabriel (our teacher trainer).

It was a hot day at the top of a mall.  There were windows on the ceiling and the sun came right in. It was sooooo hot.  Like I've said before, the Chinese don't think there is ever an inappropriate time to use an umbrella.

 

Before the competition the girls had their makeup done.

 

The MC's for the competition were one of the Chinese teachers I work with and one of the girls that works at the front desk.

21 students made it to the final round.  Each student had 4 parts to complete.  First, they introduced themselves.  Their introductions usually went like this 'My English name is Angel.  I have a happy family.  There are 3 people in my family.  My mother, my father, and me.  I'm a cute girl.  Everybody likes me, do you like me?'   Then they had to tell a story in English.  After that we asked them 3 questions.   Finally, they had to display a talent.  I had no idea the kids were so talented.   For the talent portion they told jokes, recited 'I have a dream', played the accordion, did a dance, sang a song, and performed magic tricks.  I didn't realize they were so talented.   I was nervous for them but none of them looked nervous.  It's funny how some have more confidence up on a stage then they do in class.

  Oh these boys, some days I hate them and some days I love them.  Bill, on the right, is one of my favorites.  Sometimes I misjudge his out of control behavior in class as naughty behavior.  But actually he just gets really excited and eager.  Jason, on the left, is just naughty sometimes.  However, he worked really hard and won the competition among the younger students. 

Emily is one of my favorite students.  She is 11 years old and really enjoys speaking English.  One day I had this conversation with her:
Emily:  Why don't you wear your own clothes?
Me:  Because I have to wear this blue shirt for work.
Emily:  But I think it is not beautiful.   You should wear your own clothes because they are beautiful.
Me: Emily, you're right.
She has a big personality and literally can't keep her mouth shut sometimes. I hope we can keep in touch because I would really like to see what sort of a woman she grows up to be. She came in 2nd place. 

The winner of the older kids was Jerry.  He is also very talented and wrote his own story in English.  It was impressive and I gave him the highest score.

'Modesty helps one to go forward, where as conceit makes one lag behind.'

Practicing patience

Overall I think I've become a more patient person while living in China.   I am an easily annoy-able person and I've always disliked that about myself.  China has tested my patience in many ways and I'm grateful for the opportunity to practice patience.

When you're living in a foreign country there are many situations that may cause impatience and annoyance.  Everything is different from what you're used to in your home country - from the language to the money to the day to day pace of the country to cultural differences you wouldn't have even thought of.  Since I'm not much of a patient / tolerant person back home when I came to China and the newness wore off, my lack of patience was intensified.  I believe if you can practice patience in your life happiness can be achieved much easier on a day to day basis - especially in a foreign country.

I often have to remind myself of this quote:  “When you travel, remember that a foreign country is not designed to make you comfortable. It is designed to make its own people comfortable.” – Clifton Fadiman

What's ironic is that what bothers me the most about Chinese people is their lack of patience in many situations.  While traveling in Sichuan and being surrounded by so many impatient Chinese tourists I realized I have gotten out of the habit of practicing patience and therefore haven't been as happy as I could be.

I often read zenhabits.net.  It's a wonderful blog about lots of topics that you can easily apply to your daily life.  Not everything applies to me but he has a lot that I can relate to and use in my life.  He wrote a post on achieving happiness that I often refer back to when I find myself especially impatient. 

He started with the basic assumption: 'that we are all human beings capable of goodness, of love, of pain, of broken hearts and passionate love. That we all have bad days, that inside our jaded exteriors is a person who just wants love.'

The following quote really hit me:   '.......we take other people for granted, and we judge others and become irritated with them for almost no good reasons, and we expect everyone to make us happy or at least behave the way we want them to, and if they don’t, our day is ruined. That’s crazy. People are living their own lives, and aren’t trying to please us or act in accordance with our expectations, and once we accept that, we can be happy.'   I think this is obvious but something I wish I had realized years ago.  It can especially apply to my life in China though.   Overall Chinese people are very selfish.    They live in a country with 1.3 billion people.  Most were raised as an only child.  They don't worry or even think about anyone but themselves.  So when they leave the toilet a mess, throw garbage on the ground, push to get on the bus, cut in line, talk loudly on their cell phones- I have to remember where I'm living, that I have chosen to live here, and this is the way the people are.

Back to patience and happiness.

Zenhabits recommends these 3 steps:
1.  Think “I love you, and I’m thankful for you” to every single person today.
2.  Smile at that person, and look them in the eye.
3.  If you feel comfortable, say it aloud to that person.

These steps are pretty difficult to follow in China.  I have no idea how many people I pass on a daily basis but it's a lot.  It's easier to follow in my apartment complex.  I usually walk with my head down while they comment that I'm a foreigner or listen to music while they stare at me in the elevator.   But looking them in the eye and smiling at them makes them real people again.  People that are living their life just as I'm living my life.