Let me walk on the sidewalk in peace or AT LEAST say excuse me before you run me over!
Before I departed for my year abroad I was sent a packet of information about what to expect while living abroad.
The last page of the packet describes the feeling of when all our normal cues are completely removed in a new country. 'These signs or cues include the hundreds of ways in which we orient ourselves to the situation of daily life.' When these are removed it can create feelings of frustration and anxiety.
'Experts suggest that there are four stages of culture shock:
1. Initial euphoria
2. Irritability and hostility
3. Gradual adjustment
4. Adaptation'
Wikipedia calls the 2nd phase the negotiation phase. I simply call it the 'This place ANNOYS me phase'. 'After some time (usually three months but sometimes sooner or later, depending on the individual), differences between the old and new culture become apparent and may create anxiety. Excitement may eventually give way to unpleasant feelings of frustration and anger as one continues to experience unfavorable events that may be perceived as strange and offensive to one's cultural attitude. Language barriers, stark differences in public hygiene, traffic safety, food accessibility and quality may heighten the sense of disconnection from the surroundings.'
Despite many challenges I found that stage 1 for me was euphoric because everything was new and that made the challenges bearable. I was always trying a new food, saying a new word in Chinese, understanding a new word, taking a picture of something I hadn't seen before, getting excited about a small accomplishment such as buying a bus card or bargaining all in Chinese, etc. As I hit my 4 month mark in China I've found that stage 2 has hit me - hard on some days.
I could write a huge post on this topic so expect more in the future. But right now, in addition to the staring I can't get over how pedestrians have no right of way. I've been in many cities where a majority of the people walk and take public transportation to get around. Xi'an is no exception. That's why I find it 'funny' that cars / motorbikes / taxi's / buses will not stop for pedestrians that are crossing the street - even if the pedestrians have a walk sign. Along with this is feeling like I'm on a street when I'm actually on the sidewalk. Motorbikes and sometimes even cars drive fast on the sidewalks. They honk and honk until you move out of the way (although not slowing down while they honk). Or they come speeding towards you. It's virtually impossible to play chicken while a moto is heading straight for you but sometimes that's what I feel like doing. This is the sideWALK! We are supposed to be on it, you (Mr Moto) are not. A car would never do the pedestrian 'go ahead' wave here. The car is going first - no question about it.
Spitting and going to the bathroom where ever and whenever you please are posts for another time. The lack of excuse me's, thank you's, and general common courtesy really gets to me on a daily basis. First off, I'm not saying Chinese people aren't nice. I firmly believe they are good hearted people. Chinese people push to get where they need to be, they don't say excuse me, they don't say sorry, they HATE waiting in lines and will cut infront of anyone whenever they want to. When this happens to me it is nothing personal -they do it to each other. However, it is still not a nice feeling to experience as a foreigner. I don't expect them to say excuse me just to make me feel better. I need to find a place in myself that doesn't get bothered when someone pushes themself in front of me. I come from a land of 'I'm so sorry' and friendly smiles so I will continue to apologize in their language, when I push, step on a foot, or hit someone with my bag.
“When you travel, remember that a foreign country is not designed to make you comfortable. It is designed to make its own people comfortable.” - Clifton Fadiman
Wise words Mr. Fadiman!
I'm hopeful that my irritability and hostility are fading and I'm moving into phase 3!
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